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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

by Anonymous

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu
( May peace and the mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you).


"Assalamualykum, I was given the option of exposing myself and I choose to remain anonymous and I was given the option of answering questions, or share my story, and I chose the latter. 

Here it goes, hello to all the readers out there. I wish to share with you my journey to Islam and I really hope that I wont bore you. 

I was born into the Catholic faith but I was really not religious at all and neither was my family. I went to a all girls Catholic school and my parents were very strict and I was not allowed to associate with boys until I graduated high school. My parents were not the affectionate type and they often abused me verbally and sometimes physically. I often felt alone and sad, I even thought about committing suicide when I was in my early teen years. I was always teased about my weight and I felt like nobody loved me or cared about me. My first relationship was my last year of high school and thats when I lost my virginity to a guy I was so in love with. He was my world and he was a Catholic too but not religious. I became obsessed with him and he was also my first heartbreak. He cheated on me and broke my heart and left me with a bitter outlook on life. I hated guys because of him and I went on a dating rampage. I became out of control and ended up in an abusive relationship with a guy who already had a kid from another woman. He hid his drug addiction from me when we first met and i moved in with him after 2 months of getting to know him (even though he had a kid). He would often abuse me when we were drunk and would always flirt with other women in front of me. I cheated on him emotionally and when he found out he started to do drugs infront of me to justify his pain. He also got me involved with the drugs but luckily I never had an addictive personality. I was stupid enough to stay with him and that lasted for one more year. He made my life a living h*ll and I wanted to escape so badly but I didn't know how. I was crying inside for help but nobody could help me because our relationship was like "the boy who cried wolf".. I had used up all my "get out of jail free" passes and there was nobody I could call. I felt so trapped and so depressed. I realised that love was not real and it was never made to last.  I finally got the courage to leave after a year and moved in with one of my friends who had moved back into the city. This was a true blessing. I stayed single for a long time and became a bartender and a nightclub promoter. I worked late hours and earned a lot of money. I was happy for awhile and had my own apartment and was getting my life together. But something was still missing. I started dating a lot and I really loved drinking alcohol. Every time I would go somewhere, I had to be drunk . I would always try to be the life of the party but that really didn't fulfil any of my hearts desires. I would often come home from work or a drunken night and ask in my heart to be saved. I didn't know who to ask but I just asked "please save me from this."

I discovered Islam by fluke I think (well of course with the help of God). I was talking to a few guys from my work who were Arab(obviously not religious) and I befriended them. They became my friends outside of work and we got into a debate about religion. A few of them went back to the religion and some still continued to party. Something inside me just made me learn more about Islam. I learnt about the way women were treated and how much they were valued in Islam, and knew that no man has ever valued me this way . I can't explain or describe the feelings in my heart, but after years of suffering and feeling depressed and worthless, I was finally feeling some sense of worth and that I was a human being and a creation of God. I entered into Islam in the year of 2010 and have given up everything from my past life. The only love I feel that exists is for God and Islam. God saved me, and just as peaceful as the REAL Islam is, the same is how my heart feels. Alhamdulilah. If you don't know much about Islam, I really encourage you to learn about it and start with an open mind and the Qur'an. Please don't judge the beautiful religion by the person, judge it by it's truth. Thank you for reading I hope i did not bore you."

Jazakilah Kheyr for this BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL story *tear* and for trusting me to share it with the world .  May Allah always keep you firm upon His path and continue to guide the Ummah. Ameen


Al-Ameen's Blog said...

May Allah SWT bless n keep u guided on His path,I pray others too will join d religion of Truth,may Allah have mercy upon us all.amin.

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