Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Another Anonymous.



"Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu!!!! Alhumdulilah we have been guided to Islam! May Allah continue to preserve us and keep us on the straight path, and Insha’Allah brings our families to the truth! Ameen
With that being said…..Here’s my story!!

I accepted Islam a month before my 21st birthday. A little back history. I was your typical Christian at the time. My parents raised me to be respectful, to worship the Trinity, to do well and not question religion. I went to church, but it was more of a fashion show for me or to see my friends. I rarely paid attention to the sermon. I attended private, religious schools so I had to take religion class. I went to a Lutheran school up until 8th grade and an all-girl Catholic High School. I had boyfriends throughout high school, went to school dances and did your average high school events.  I went to college right after high school. Unfortunately, my focus at that time was on boys and looking good. LOL talk about a waste of money! For the most part, I did well, I maintained a 3.3 GPA. I’m still not sure how! LOL Towards the end of freshman year, I got real serious about being a Christian. I went to church almost every Sunday with my family, I stopped going out and went to Christian concerts and gatherings on campus. That didn’t last till the summer.
My sophomore year, I roomed with a girl I met freshman year, who happened to be a Muslim. She wasn’t fully practicing; hence we used to go out to all of the parties and whatever else was going on around campus. I had never been baptized and we both got baptized at a friends’ church in 04. That didn’t change who I was. I was still going out to clubs, hanging with male friends and drinking. In 2005, we were still roommates. It was getting close to Ramadan and my roommate told me she wanted to fast. I had remembered her fasting during freshman year, so this wasn’t too new to me. But for reason, it sparked an interest in me. I was at a point where Christianity wasn’t doing it for me anymore, to many unanswered questions. I didn’t know a thing about Islam. I started doing some research on my own trying to understand this foreign religion. I ordered the Quran and literature from islamicity.com. I still use them to this day. I even started attending Jumuah prayer with my roommate. I remember the first time I heard the Adhan, it sent shivers throughout my body and had a very calming effect even though I had no idea what was being said at that time. I would cover at the masjid, which was a new concept to me. I felt so welcomed at the masjid, I didn’t feel judged a complete opposite compared to church.  During Ramadan, I tried fasting, which is something I had never done in my life before. I went to the masjid for Iftars and truly felt like a part of the family, even though I was still a Christian. My roommate taught me how to pray. I had a book that went over salat step by step which was very helpful. Before I became Muslim, I learned my first Surah, Surah Ikhlas.
After Ramadan, I continued to study and learn about Islam. In my heart, I knew what was true and what I had to do. I had a lot of fears and reservations. Christianity was all I knew! All of my family is Christian. How would my family react? What would my friends say? I have to cover and stop eating pork?! I can’t do that!! What would I eat when I go places?! So na├»ve Masha Allah!! I battled with this for a few months. I continued searching Islamicity.com. At the top of the page they have a Quranic verse that changes. At this time the verse being displayed was “This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” (5:3) Alhumdulilah I just knew Allah was talking to me! He was letting me know, I’ve got you. I really knew what I had to do then. There was no denying the truth after this. January 6, 2006 I spontaneously took my shahada on Friday after Jumuah salat. That was by far the happiest day of my life! I had tears pouring down my face and I finally felt as if I was home.
Alhumdulilah I started covering right away. I guess it wasn’t as hard as I thought. Telling my parents on the other hand was. I told my mom and the first thing she said was, “Are you worshipping a lamp?” SubhanAllah! She really said that!  To this day, we still don’t discuss religion. She thought I was going through a phase and it would wear off.
My 21st birthday was a month after I took my shahada. I was conflicted. I had been waiting for this day for sooooooo long!! I wanted to go out and legally drink and hang with my friends. But at the same time, I knew what Islam said about drinking and going out! Unfortunately, my nafs won out. It didn’t help that my roommate was telling me,” It’s ok, go out! We’re young. We have our whole life to practice Islam!” That day I took off my hijab and my modest clothes and headed to the club. That was the beginning of my downward spiral. Praying became really sparse. Islam wasn’t important to me anymore. I was young. I wanted to date! I wanted to get dressed up and look cute again. So, I did. Sporadically I would feel wrong as I was living for this dunya but I still kept doing me. It seems like every 6 months or so, I would start practicing again, randomly. I have this book that thoroughly describes the torments of the grave and would frighten me! When I read this book I would study, cover and resume praying. This didn’t last long either. I wasn’t in good company so they weren’t supportive of my transformation. I would always stray back to the dunya. I went through quite a few rough patches during this time. And I do mean ROUGH! I got tired of where I was in my life. I wasn’t getting anywhere. I knew that I would be questioned and held responsible for all that I’ve done after I had accepted Islam. After living for the dunya for 6 years, I had to make some major changes in my life. It started slowly, around March of 2011.  I started getting rid of the bad company in my life, which took a long time.
I had 2 incidents that really made me wake up and do a complete 360. I was working a lot of hours, including 3rd shift. One day I was heading home and traffic was stopped going across a bridge. I was extremely tired and was barely awake. I tried rolling down the windows; I tried calling people, even music! Nothing worked. I fell asleep at the wheel and was woken up by my car hitting the stopped car in front of me. I jerked awake and started praying and crying. I was hoping that no one was injured and that they wouldn’t want to call the insurance company because I was on my Aunt’s insurance. Alhumdulilah, we pulled off at the next exit and they didn’t want to call the cops! Allahu Akbar!! About 2 months after that I was merging onto the highway from another highway and I could see that traffic was stopped (it was rush hour), I’m going around this really sharp turn and I go to press the breaks, and nothing happens!! All I can see in front of me are stopped cars. I just knew I was going to ram someone in the back. My breaks went out on me completely. Once again I’m praying for Allah to help me! I was able to merge on to the emergency lane, while going about 50 MPH. Alhumdulilah I eventually stopped!! Those incidents definitely woke me up. I saw my life flash before my eyes. A few weeks before Ramadan I got my life together Alhumdulilah. I completely stopped hanging out with anyone who was not good for my Deen, which left me completely alone. But for once in my life, I was ok with that. I was really looking forward to Ramadan. I dug out my Quran and started reading it. I didn’t pray right away¸ it took me about a week into Ramadan before I began praying Alhumdulilah. I started covering a few days after that, SubhanAllah. Alhumdulilah I’ve been on the straight path since then.
Even though I officially took my shahada in 06, I feel as if I’m a new Muslim who finally took Islam seriously in Ramadan of 2011. I thank Allah repeatedly that He didn’t take my life during those years when I was astray. Now, Islam is my life. I’ve come a long way, but I still have ways to go. I recently got married in March Alhumdulilah and I’ve started a new chapter in my life. If I can leave my sisters with a piece of advice is this, choose your friends wisely because rather you realize it or not, they have an impact on your religion. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Insha’Allah it helps someone, somewhere."


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